Revenge of the Junk Food Vegan

During my first go-’round of being vegan, I was the worst example of what a healthy vegan eats. When I wasn’t cooking (read: often) I just ate whatever convenience foods I could find that didn’t contain animal ingredients which occasionally (read: really often) meant that dinner was an entire box of Tofutti Cuties and a large Red Eye from Muddy Waters. It’s strange because being a more healthy vegan, despite that not being the motivation for being vegan again, is a lot simpler than it was then. I spent way too much time talking to droney hippies tell me about allegedly magical shit in natural grocery vitamin aisles and there just weren’t many sources of hard nutritional information available then that wasn’t a typo-ridden zine-format cookbook. Although I have a lot of faith in veganism as a semi-coherent methodology of ridding your life of shit you shouldn’t be a participant in, I’m also pretty skeptical of most advice I get from other lacksadaisical vegans who are really hung up on some particular aspect of nutrition rather than keeping you generally healthy and keeping the scurvy cooties off.

The availability of information post-interwebs has a whole lot to do with this. Soy Not Oi was once the informational gateway for vegetarians to transition to a vegan diet and was also funny as hell, but, in retrospect, I’m terrified that for a long time this was my main source of information. I do miss the emphasis of veganism being centered on animal liberation now that the health benefits of a vegan diet are more widely known and variations like raw vegan diets are becoming popular especially for athletes. I feel like that aspect is somewhat diminished, but I’m also happy that other folks are making better decisions even we’re not congruent in terms of motivations and rationale. Whatevs. Vegan convenience food has improved drastically both in taste and nutritional value because more people are going vegan for health reasons. I’m fine with that because although I’m not super nutrition focused I like the idea that my lifestyle has some some happy side effects.

After all that babble, a little bit of lazy vegan non-cooking. I made this last night. It was after 1am with an alarm threatening to go off at 6am and I was hungry. I wanted convenience and yumminess and little else. I figured out a good compromise I think and it gives me a chance to talk some smack about food, right?:

El Dagwood

2 slices of bread (I used wheat bread)

Veganaise (you can use whatever if you don’t have it on hand)

Some spicy mustard (yellow will also work if you’re totally lame)

Vegan Cheese (I use the Galaxy slices because they’re fucking awesome)

A tablespoon or so of Milled Flax Seeds (basically a flavorless powder that yields lots of Omega oils)

Hummus (I just used some generic store brand plain hummus)

3 or 4 small slices Leftover fried tofu (I had this around from an earlier meal that my wife cooked so this was another bonus ingredient that required no extra work — what you don’t have a big pile of leftover fried tofu? Unthinkable)

Sriracha or gtfo

Slap it all together. Sprinkle the milled flax on the mustard’d and Veganaise’d slices of bread and you’ll hardly know it’s there. I might have also thrown a very spare sprinkle of nutritional yeast in there as well.

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